


Fog of War

by Keith-Ko-totally-gay-ne (Wolfygamer29)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Black Paladin Keith (Voltron), Blue Paladin Allura (Voltron), Cuban Lance (Voltron), F/F, F/M, Friends to Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Galra Keith (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), M/M, More Tags to Be Added (Potentially), Red Paladin Lance (Voltron), some graphic content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:33:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22266430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfygamer29/pseuds/Keith-Ko-totally-gay-ne
Summary: This is the beginning of a rewrite of my brain-child I've been working on since Season 2 ended. Enjoy!Keith takes on the role of black paladin, but something is terribly wrong. After Keith claims his place as head of Voltron, the young paladin seems to undergo a terrible change from the moment he steps foot in the black lion, and from then on it's up to the team to find out what happened to their friend.
Relationships: Adam/Curtis/Shiro (Voltron), Allura/Lotor (Voltron), Hunk/Shay (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 37





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 4/22/2020 Added more to the beginning, fixed some grammar.

Keith gasped, shooting upright, suddenly wide awake. He’d had the nightmare again, and he gritted his teeth, willing his breathing to calm, for his heart to stop beating a million miles a second. For a moment, he was back in the battle, sentires were pooling through the door and all he could hear was the sound of gunfire ricocheting off the metal around him as he ducked and weaved, firing beam after beam from the damaged galra blaster he gripped like death in his hands.

He could hear the panicked shouting of his team mates in his helmet as they battled against Zarkon’s fleet themselves, forced to wait on him and Thace and the rest of the blades to do their job, and take down the power. He could remember the feeling of hopelessness rising in his gut like bile as he closed off what had looked like their only exit. He remembered that gut wrenching feeling as he floated in open space, watching the power cut out, and realizing that Thace had completed his mission, and paid in his own blood to do so.

His bones could feel the life being sucked from them as Voltron took a blast from the Komar, the way his brain could barely form a thought, how he could barely lift his head let alone move the controls that his fingers could hardly grip. How it had sounded when the princess screamed in agony as the castle took its own hit.

Playing out in his head was the battle with Zarkon. All of the fear, the terror, Shiro’s voice.  _ Shiro’s voice. _ The last words he heard him speak,  _ ‘Let’s finish this.’ _ They’d wake him from a restless sleep every night, ringing in his ears,  _ Let’s finish this, Let’s finish this _ . And they did. It wasn’t until they were aboard the castleship did they even know he was gone, and that those would be the last words they’d ever hear him say.

All the emotions from that day, all the hopelessness, the adrenaline, physical pain, aches and bruises that remained for movements… nothing compared to the numbness that settled in his bones as he searched the debris of the battlefield, not even the tiniest sign of the missing paladin..

It was devastating. All consuming. He threw himself into training alongside the blades. He couldn’t bare a second in the castle, but he was still a paladin. He was still meant to fight alongside his real team, and he knew that, he could never shake that feeling of guilt no matter how hard he tried to stamp it out.. His blade training was a side thing, meant to strengthen his skills to improve his  _ paladin _ work. Yet, he couldn’t hide it. The others could see through him, they saw the way he’d jump at the chance to join the blades on the ground, rather than in the air with his lion. They could see the way he’d find some reason to spend a few quintants on a Marmoran base than he would on the ship.

None of them took it personally, not that he ever saw. They could see the pain he tried to cover up, but none of them knew how to help. As paladins of Voltron, they knew each other better than anyone else in the universe. They shared a mind through Voltron itself, after all, and so the red paladin could not hide his emotions behind a quiet frown and folded arms, like he could once upon a time. They could read the subtleties in his actions as easily as though he were a wide open book, and sometimes he hated it. Maybe that was another reason he so pointedly avoided time on the castleship. It was unbearable the way they would cast him sympathetic looks. They meant well, he knew that, but it made him feel like a wounded puppy, the way they tiptoed around him. He sometimes wished he could be grateful for the way they cared, yet still he would snap at them when he caught them looking his way.

The nightmares had been constant. When he finally managed to force his eyes shut on the first night after the battle, Keith had been flung right back into it. It was worse, though, because now he knew. He  _ knew _ that Shiro would be gone from the cockpit, and he fought with such desperation each night. In his mind, he tried to save the black paladin. He’d dreamt of a million and one different ways he could have changed the result of the battle, but every time, Shiro would be gone. No matter how fast he ran, how hard he fought, the cockpit remained empty. The black bayard sitting, taunting, teasing. No paladin to bear it in sight. Sometimes, the dream-battles would end more gruesomely. There were some images his mind had created that even his waking moments could not hide him from.

Like the past few nights before, Keith slowly pushed himself out of bed. He’d always slept in his clothes. It was a habit, to always be prepared and never caught off guard. He’d done it the first night on the castleship, and had done it every night since. Now, he almost regretted it. His pants made his legs feel stiff, his shirt was sticking to his back with sweat, but he ignored it and continued on, leaving the room. He walked down the castle halls, not even paying attention to where his feet took him until he was stood in front of the door. It led into the black lion’s hangar, and he gritted his teeth.

He always wound up back here.

When he approached, he felt an eerie chill ride up the back of his neck. There was barely enough light emanating from dimmed sources for him to make out the silhouette of the black lion from where he stood, and the silence was almost deafening. 

He almost couldn’t look at it, and could almost swear the robotic beast was judging him. It knew. It knew what Shiro wanted. It had refused a new pilot time and time again. The team knew. He couldn’t hide it anymore. But still, he tried. He’d leave the room any time it was so much as hinted. He’d find the most obscure place he could and spend vargas and vargas sitting in silence, ignoring the sounds of his friend's looking for him. He just couldn’t face them, not knowing how much they must be disappointed in him. In his mind, he was committing an atrocious crime by denying the team a leader. The guilt was almost overwhelming, but the denial of Shiro’s disappearance, and the fear of taking a position the other man had once so greatly held, was far more powerful than any guilt he could harbor.

And so he stood there, fists clenched and gritted teeth. He didn’t even realize he was crying until the first tear fell from his cheek. The rest followed quickly behind, and he found himself sinking to his knees, trying and failing to close the floodgates. He gasped for air once, and it was all over. Any semblance of control he had broke and all he could do was sob.

The pain squeezed at his heart so hard he thought it might burst. It was  _ agony. _ He hadn’t cried so hard since the night of his father’s funeral. He’d forgotten what it was like. His body was racked with sorrow and he’d folded in on himself. He wailed, as though it would somehow alleviate the pain, but nothing did. It was crippling. He’d been holding it in for so long, and now he couldn’t stop.

He never heard the door open, nor the sound of padded feet approaching. It was only when Lance spoke that Keith spun to face him. The sudden movement caused a spontaneous bout of dizziness and he swayed for a moment. Before Lance could say anything more than a concerned “Keith?” the paladin had turned his head away and promptly threw up onto the metal floor. Exhaustion, stress, hunger, all combined at once and he slumped over into the arms of the blue paladin.

Keith could hardly remember what happened next. There were flashes of things, Lance supporting him with his shoulder, walking down a hallway, entering a room… he remembered the feeling of a soft mattress, a fuzzy blanket… and then he was asleep. And for the first time in a long time, he  _ slept _ .

* * *

As Lance pulled his blanket over the weakened paladin, he wiped a silent tear from his own cheek. He’d known Keith often spent the night out of his room. He’d heard him every night, walking down the hallway. But until that night, he’d never gone out seeking him. He’d watched the red paladin waste away, the few times any of the castle residents could catch a glimpse of the young man. But after Keith’s injury while training, he’d become even more distressed for his friend’s health and safety. And finally, he had to follow Keith on his nightly escapades. After hearing Keith leave his room that night, Lance had tried to rest, but he just couldn’t. Not long into the night, he just had to find the tormented paladin.

He hadn’t gone very far when he heard a muffled sound, a heartbreaking wail, and quickly Lance found himself running to the sound. Standing outside the door to the black lion’s hanger, the sound coming from inside shattered Lance. Just seeing the crumpled form of who was once such an intimidating member of his team was enough to bring a terrible pain to Lance’s heart.

As he looked over the young man who now lay in his bed, Lance sighed. It hurt to see him like this. There was a pain inside, a deeper pain he couldn’t describe. But as he watched his friend drift off into a deep sleep, he felt something different, something soft. He found himself looking away, trying to look anywhere but at the sleeping man. He sighed again, turning to make his way for the door. There was still a mess to clean up in the hanger. As Lance passed through his bedroom door, he rubbed his eyes. He’d be spending the night on the floor when he got back, for sure. But he wanted to be able to keep an eye on Keith, in case he woke again.

He hoped that tomorrow would be a better day.


	2. Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A clash, a crash, and a bit of a flash-back.
> 
> 4/22/2020 Grammar and spelling fixes

“I didn’t realize Alteans had ‘spring cleaning,’ too,” Hunk said thoughtfully as Coran twirled his mustache proudly.

“Oh yes, springtime was truly one of the most destructive seasons of the deca-phoebe! During the stone falls, so much chaos is unleashed on Altea’s equator that it’s truly a team effort to rebuild!” Coran exclaimed, “Oh, those stones,” he chuckled, “Could punch a hole straight through your noggin’!”

Hunk laughed nervously, “Oh, uh… I think we have different ideas, in that case…” He trailed off.

Coran merely shrugged, continuing to smile his signature smile.

As the two discussed the bizarre cultural differences between humans and alteans, Pidge was staring at the holographic map that slowly spun about the control room. Blue dots, red dots, green dots, and more, blinked in every corner, “So how do you know which ones are still active?” She said, pushing her glasses up her nose as she swiped a finger in front of her, enlarging one of the lights to reveal the staticky image of a planet and a garbled mess of random altean characters.

“Well,” Coran began, “I’ve color coded them, you see-” He paused, moving over to the garbled message the green paladin was examining, “Purple messages are indecipherable. Either they’re just too old, they were corrupted by the Galra’s infection, or they just didn’t transmit correctly. These ones, unfortunately, we’ll have to ignore. Now the blue ones-” He paused yet again, moving over to another message, “These ones I can confirm are new, the dates are clear, the messages are clear, we should try to prioritize these ones. However-” Another pause as he flitted to another message, “The red ones are like mystery boxes, how exciting!” He exclaimed.

“Uh, how so?” Hunk questioned, peering at the message, “Oh, I see,” He added after a moment.

“Yes, these ones have been slightly corrupted. Either the messages are unreadable, the dates are garbled, or the coordinates are just plain odd. Some of these could be new, it’s hard to tell. Of course, some of them have dates, and some are rather, well… useless, seeing as they’re often over 9,000 deca-phoebes old. But some are definitely new. I just can’t quite decipher most of the coordinates or the messages.”

“I might be able to pull some data from them, if you’d like,” Pidge offered, a gleam in her eye as the little tech goblin began to spin the gears in her head.

“It would be much appreciated, number five!” Coran exclaimed in bubbly joy, clapping his hands together.

“What about the green ones?” Lance chimed in from where he reclined in his seat.

“Oh, those ones are… what did you call them, Hunk?”

“Uh, spam calls?”

“Yes!” Coran made a point of dramatically gesturing, “Spame calls!”

“It’s spam-”

“They’re not really important,” Coran shrugged, dopping his arms down once more, one hand behind his back, the other twirling the curled ends of his mustache, “They’re likely pranks, sent to the wrong address, or in some other way just nonsense or unimportant. It’s quite possible some of the red marked ones are spame, too.”

“Spam-”

“Ah, yes! Number five, if you don’t mind, while you’re attempting to decipher those, can you make sure to organize them into subcategories as well? Sort out the spame, sort out the completely indecipherable?” Coran added, spinning on his heel to face the smallest paladin where she sat, hunched over a keyboard already.   
  


“Already planning on it, Coran,” She said with a smirk.

“Oh, good to hear,” He replied with a return smile. He spun around once more, clapping his hands again and looking around the room at the paladins. His smile faltered for a moment before returning, only more strained.

From the back of the room, Keith had looked up from where he’d been glaring at the floor. When his scowl met with Coran’s eyes, the jovial man became anxious. He glanced around at the paladins who each pointedly made an effort not to look at the surly man who still glared at the adviser.

Coran brought a fist up to his mouth and let out a nervous cough before clapping his hands, yet again, in front of himself hesitantly, “Ah, hm… What, uh, what do you think, number four?” he said through the strained smile that struggled to meet his eyes.

For a long moment, Keith remained silent. The others became visibly agitated as the silence continued to spread like a puddle of syrup. Slow, sticky, uncomfortable. Pidge had hunched over behind her screen as she tapped away at her keyboard, slower than normal. Hunk shifted his weight between his feet, avoiding looking at anyone or anything in particular. Allura subtly rubbed her palms together, wringing her hands as she looked between her advisor and the black paladin with a stoic face, though if one looked hard enough, they’d find cracks of anxiety worrying just underneath the surface.

Lance was different, though. Instead of being dragged down into the muddy pool of warryness that his team mates wallowed in, he stood with a steely expression, eyes honed in on the leader of the group, every muscle in his body tensed like a viper poised to attack at the slightest sign of movement.

It wasn’t a strange occurrence, moments like these. Always a temperamental man, Keith was prone to unexpected outbursts, especially under duress as the team was recently, but none like what team Voltron had become accustomed to since the young paladin took the helm as new black paladin. No, the Keith who stood solemnly in the corner of the room was a much different man than the one who’d stood in his place just months prior. And much more dangerous.

Finally the silence broke, and a low snarl of a comment came from between gritted teeth, “You spent a lot of time on this, huh?” Keith growled.

“Well, I…” Coran trailed off, trying to gesticulate the words that wouldn’t leave his mouth but ultimately falling flat under the scrutiny of those broiling, furious indigo eyes. As his arms fell limply to the side, he grimaced uncomfortably as the paladin continued to stare.

“He’s doing his job,” Lance said curtly, unflinching even as the wild fury of those eyes turned to him.

“Correct me if I’m wrong,” Keith hissed out, “But last I spoke to him, I thought I’d  _ requested _ that he put a little more effort in the search, and this doesn’t look very much like that. Am I  _ wrong? _ ” He put a threatening emphasis on the question as his eyes shot back to meet the gaze of the poor orange haired man at the center of the room.

“I just thought that it would be for the best if we also put some work into clearing out the castle’s message system while the galra remain relatively quiet,” Coran said, voice wavering uncharacteristically as he shrunk under his scrutiny, “After all, we’re getting new calls in constantly and the system is cluttered, and if they pick up momentum again, well, I just-”

“You don’t need to explain yourself Coran, you’re trying to help,” Lance cut in, interrupting the man and offering him a reassuring smile, “It’s not your fault jackass over here keeps waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Every day.”

Though Coran looked somewhat thankful for Lance’s interjection, nothing stopped the anxious way he twiddled his thumbs as he watched the black paladin turn aggressively towards the red lion’s pilot. The rest of the room seemed to share the same thought,  _ ‘Here we go again.’ _

  
  


“Keith? Buddy? My man?” The voice of the brunette paladin rang out through the hallway, a look of minor worry on his face, “We’re just… concerned about you is all,” He added, turning yet another corner. He sighed as he was met with another empty corridor. It felt useless. Trying to find the fiery young paladin when he did not want to be found was like trying to fish a grain of rice out of a beach of sand. Sure, you could probably accomplish it, but it’d take way too long to be reasonable and you’d probably have to rely on getting lucky to even find it. The seemingly endless corridors of the castleship were the haystack he had to burrow through, and Keith was the needle that would likely prick his finger when he did find him. The single loose string in the pile of yarn. The-

Lance was stopped in his tracks by the sound of a singular  **thunk** and a gruff “Oof,” nearby. Turning the next corner revealed a scruffy and silly looking sight. In the middle of the hallway lay the red paladin, sprawled on his back and glaring upwards at the rafter beams above him as though they had betrayed him.

Lance wanted to laugh at the sight ahead of him, but the sight was pitiful enough to dilute the humor of the situation. Rather, he let out a huff of frustration with the red paladin’s desperate recklessness, prompting the paladin in the center of the floor to tilt his head slightly, looking back at the other young man through the tangled bangs that curtained over his face. Keith had always been averse to haircuts, but even the simple trimmings he was often subjected to, once upon a time, by his adoptive brother, he now shunned the idea of completely. To see the split ends, the scraggly bangs that obscured any sense of vision he had, was quite distressing to someone as appearance-conscious as Lance. Not to mention the ache in his heart he felt to see his friend in this state. That deep ache, so endlessly crushing. Tinged with something else, something he hardly noticed. Or maybe it was that he chose to ignore it, in favor of telling himself other things, telling himself that feeling was something other than what it was… But he digressed. As funny as the sight seemed without the entire context at hand, he still moved briskly to insure his friend had not injured himself falling from the rafters, which Lance was not incorrect in assuming he had been in the process of trying to hide in.

“What are you, a squirrel?” He chuffed, extending a hand to the downed paladin as he stood over him, “You alright?”

“Peachy,” Keith responded monotonously, emotionlessly. It was unlike the sarcastic man who would, on rare occasions, pop out. Instead, it was merely a hollow statement, an autopilot response as his brain mechanically moved through the world around it, hardly ever looking out at what was happening outside of his mind. Keith hardly looked at Lance, barely sparing the offered hand a glance as he rolled onto his stomach and roughly rose to his feet, grunting as he straightened his back and rubbing a hand on the base of his spine.

Lance sighed as he moved to stand in front of his friend, regardless of Keith’s half-hearted attempts to face away from him, “Keith, I’m sorry we pushed you, okay? But you can’t just keep shutting down on us and running away,” He said softly, still trying to look his friend in the eye as the stubborn young man continued to twist and turn to avoid eye contact.

“I don’t want to talk about it Lance,” He responded sourly, arms crossed.

“Fine, then don’t talk about it,” Lance said exasperatedly, “I’ll talk about it for you. All you have to do is  _ listen _ . Just listen to me, please.”

Keith said nothing, still facing away from the blue paladin, but didn’t walk away. Taking this as a begrudging invitation for him to continue, he sighed and ran a hand through his own messy hair. He’d been stressing himself out over so much that past week, ever since he found the paladin crumpled in the hangar.

For one, he was fearful for the well-being of his friend. He barely ate, even the treats that Hunk would whip up and leave outside his door for him would often remain just as they were when he put them there, hours later. Lance had taken to physically carrying them into Keith’s room when he saw the dishes sitting untouched, but they would always turn up in the kitchen later, still as though Hunk had just put them out. He was sluggish during training, they’d all noticed, and he constantly looked as though he were on the verge of collapsing from exhaustion. Lance didn’t doubt it was the case, either. Both he and Hunk had caught Keith on numerous occasions when the paladin would start to stumble and fall. Lance had quickly realized that the only place Keith seemed to get any sleep was in his lion, and even then, when he would go to check up on him, he could feel the faintest brush of anxiety against his mind, emanating from the red lion. If he were willing to reach out to a paladin not his own, truly even Keith’s lion feared for the sake of his pilot.

“Alright, just…” Lance sighed, suddenly unsure of what would be a safe topic to start with, “I know you’ve heard it all said by us a million times by now, but we really  _ are _ here for you Keith. If you don’t want to talk to me, there’s always Hunk or Pidge, I know you feel more comfortable around them.”

“It’s not that…” Keith grumbled.

Lance merely continued, “We need you Keith, you’re a valuable part of the team, and without you Voltron is weaker. We can’t have you on the verge of collapse when the next real emergency rises. These last few missions, we’ve been able to manage without you, barely,” Lance tried to ignore the guilty look that he glimpsed on Keith. For the past few missions, they’d all unanimously agreed that Keith was in no shape for a rigorous mission. Although unanimously didn’t really count Keith, he hardly had the energy to argue. He’d been able to go on the more light missions, diplomacy things mostly, but the paladin was often so out of it that it would be stupid, and possibly deadly, to let him on the battlefield. Lance shook his head softly, “But sooner or later something serious is gonna happen, and we’re going to need you, at your best. And sooner or later, we’re gonna need… we’re gonna need Voltron,” He sucked in a breath as the paladin tensed again. This time, Lance was prepared to grab him before he was able to run off again, but he didn’t.

Keith remained still, though he seemed to curl in on himself more with each second. When he did speak, his voice cracked and the words came out shaky, “I can’t do it, Lance.”

“We need you, Keith.  _ I _ need you.”

“I  _ can’t _ pilot him,” His words were even softer, even weaker, and it broke Lance’s heart.

Lance let his head fall, a 50 pound weight dragging his shoulder down, straining his neck, hurting his head, “Just think about it, Keith. Please,” He added, exhaustion creeping into his voice.

When Keith said nothing, Lance let out a long, sad sigh. Yet, he still reached out, a gentle hand softly pressed to his friend’s bicep, “At least come to dinner, Keith. We’ll drop it for now. Just eat something.”

Though he remained silent, the red paladin still allowed himself to be gently guided to the common area.

Lance hoped for a better day tomorrow, though he was starting to think that his hopes were being ignored by the universe.

  
  


Keith’s nostrils flared as he let out a strong huff of anger. It was always there lately, boiling in his gut. It warmed him in his sleep, fueled him in his battles, blinded him to the world. Right now, he could feel it getting hotter, his vision getting redder.  _ There he goes again _ , he stared at the ‘new red paladin,’ who returned his gaze just as fiercely, but perhaps a bit more sanely. Though Keith had no sense of that, in the moment.  _ That mouthy asshole _ . He narrowed his eyes, locked in a wordless battle with his supposed right hand man.

“Well? Gonna say something? You don’t scare  _ me _ , Keith,” Lance snarled a challenge. His head may be clearer, but not by much. These days, just being in the new black paladin's presence filled him with an anger that started in his core and ate its way up until it bit and tore at his mind, agitating him and leaving violent thoughts in its wake. The first time he felt it, it had been sudden, sudden as the way Keith had snapped in the same manner at that same moment. From then on, it had been an all out war. An unspoken war that was fought through vicious words and challenging stares as each waited for the other to make a move.

The team had watched the clash from the sidelines for too long, but none dared intervene. It wasn’t as though the black paladin had so much as threatened harm against his team. It was more the feeling one experienced in his presence. Like with the effect he had on Lance, the mere presence of the head of Voltron sent unease in waves through the team. It took nest in their bones, remaining long after he’d left the room. It was a shared experience, one that was communicated through sideways glances and worried whispers.

Keith had taken a threatening step forward, eyes wide and focussed on his current target, “Would you just fuck  _ off _ already?” He hissed, “I don’t need your input.”

Lance rolled his eyes, “Oh,  _ shut up _ , would you? What is your problem anyways? Why are you such a fucking asshole all the time?”

“At least I know how to mind my own business,” he barked back.

“And how is this-” Lance gestured to the team, who all looked uncomfortable at being brought into the spat, “Not  _ my _ business? This is my team, too, so you should really fish your god-damn head out of your ass.”

“ _ You _ are not in charge here.  _ You _ do not get to order me around.  _ You  _ are not in control,  _ I am _ . Ya’ hear me?  _ I’m _ in control here!” Keith was practically shaking with rage at this point.

“I don’t fucking see why, you’re absolutely bat-shit!” Lance shouted back at him, “Do you fucking hear yourself? I really wish you could, sometimes you make me wonder how much brain damage you’ve got from running headfirst into every single bloodbath you start!”

Keith’s eyes flamed at the term bloodbath. They glinted with something scary, something wild,  _ feral _ . The two had both advanced towards each other by several feet, flared anger growing fiercer with each step closer to one another. The others had subconsciously begun to huddle into the same space, as though to make distance between themselves and the growing sense of dread they felt as the two paladins clashed verbally in front of them.

“I win though, don’t I? Every battle, I win, We can’t lose as long as  _ I’m _ here. You’re nothing in comparison. I know you know it, you pretend you don’t but I can see it. You wish you were like me,” Keith said, something manic rising up in him.

“Why would I want to be  _ anything _ like you?” Lance scoffed, throwing his hands up in the air, “Just look at you. Who in their right mind would want anything to do with you? Let alone  _ be _ you?”

“You’ve always been jealous of me!” Keith exploded, “From the very beginning! That’s why you hate me so much, you can’t  _ stand _ someone being better than the almighty  _ Lancey-Lance _ ,” He said mockingly.

“Hah!” Lance laughed out incredulously, “You’ve got to be kidding me!”

“That’s why you always wanted to one-up me. Why you’ve always been so  _ obsessed _ with me,” He continued on despite the indignant sound Lance made in front of him, “You always wanted the red lion, didn’t you?” He said, a tinge of paranoia creeping into his voice as he narrowed his eyes.

“What?” Lance replied, genuine confusion cracking through the rage.

“You can’t stand that I’m the head of Voltron,” Keith started, eyes widening, “You-You’re trying to take my place!” He shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at the man ahead of him.

Lance’s arms fell from where they had been raised out to the sides, his jaw slack as he stared at the crazed paladin, “ _ What? _ ” He repeated, “Are you  _ actually _ going insane right now?”

“Don’t try to pretend it’s not true!” Keith shouted, that feral, wild, paranoid expression consuming his face as he reeled backward, staring at his teammate in horror, “You’ve been trying to overrule me since the black lion accepted me! Don’t think I don’t remember how desperately you wanted to pilot him!”

The alarm and bewilderment was enough to smother, like a wet blanket, the flames of rage that burned inside Lance. For the first time in Keith’s presence, he felt that tingle of fear nip at his heels, just barely there, but there nonetheless, “Are you joking? I’m literally the one who convinced  _ you _ to try to pilot the black lion in the first place!”

But Keith hardly seemed to hear him, there was a golden yellow creeping into the whites of his eyes, something sharper about the teeth he bared. His gaze was truly wild, looking at every face in the room like a trapped wild animal. He looked crazed, completely and entirely. Whatever stood before the team now wasn’t their Keith. It  _ couldn’t _ be.

And then, without warning, Keith froze, convulsed, and collapsed, eyes rolling back in his head as he hit the floor. His breathing was ragged, his face paler than usual, all of the red flush of fury instantly draining from his face.

Despite the apparent emergency before them, everyone in the room remained still for a moment before reacting. It was as though the sense of darkness looming over the room was gone as soon as he hit the floor, but instead was replaced by a brief cold so deep it froze time itself for just a tick. And then everything happened at once. Lance snapped out of the trance first, and despite the feelings he’d experienced moments before, he was already rushing to Keith’s side. It was as though the anger had never existed, but he could hardly focus on the fogginess in his brain and the muddled, lost confusion he felt at his core, as an overwhelming feeling of anxiety banged rhythmically against his chest, drowning everything else out like a drum. Maybe it was in part to the adrenaline.

The rage that had powered the black paladin who now lay unconscious on the floor had given way to reveal someone completely different.

Someone who was very clearly in danger. It was so sudden, so fast. Like the wild beast before them had been transported away, replaced by the limp form sprawled on the ground.

Amidst panicked exchanges of words, inquiring about Keith, inquiring about Lance, inquiring about  _ what had just happened _ , Keith was rushed to the medibay, stripped of his armor, and shoved ungraciously inside a pod. His vitals were weak, his pulse was vague and his breathing was shallow. Coran had no answers, no matter how many times he examined the paladin.

When a moment to breathe revealed itself to Lance and the adrenaline dripped out of his body, he found himself collapsing into the couch in the common area. He wasn’t processing anything that had just occurred. In truth, none of them were. Once the adrenaline of the moment had left them all, even Coran found himself sluggish and struggling to formulate a thought.

The experience lasted for potential vargas, but no one was really aware enough to tell. They all fell into monotonous chores, autopilot routines, no one addressing the mornings events, not verbally, not internally. They just moved. The castle had never felt so silent, the air never so dense.

But once it passed, it was like a smog floating away. Although their minds felt clearer, they felt nonetheless uneasy. Lance was more sullen than usual, and the team was content to let him have his time alone after the sight they witnessed. In all honesty, they were all content with carrying on with the day as normal. Each felt it best to leave the emotional handling of the situation to the next day, when they’d all recharged from the short bout of chaos that has terminated the productivity of the rest of the day.

As Coran checked Keith’s vitals one last time before he left to sleep, he frowned, clicking his tongue as he made a note of the characters that flashed across the little screen. His gaze flickered up to observe the pale face of the young man. So much paler than it ever should be. He thought of the last few months, of the dense fog that had followed the paladin and left unease in his wake. He pondered several ideas that all fizzled out. Eventually, he let out a sigh of resignation and turned away. As he stepped through the door, he glanced once more over his shoulder as the lights dimmed to near darkness, hiding away the paladin who, for the first time in a long time, looked peaceful. Coran made his way to his room, playing with the ends of his mustache as he continued to ponder, unsatisfied with the answers his brain offered up.


	3. Dark, Dark Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance copes poorly.  
> 4/22/2020 Grammar/Spelling  
> \--  
> 

“So how did it go?” Hunk asked suddenly, though he didn’t turn away from the bakeware on the counter that he occupied his hands with.

Lance was silent for a moment, rolling over that day’s earlier events in his head. He sighed and finally looked up from where he’d been picking at his cuticles, “How do you think?”

Hunk nodded solemnly, “That bad, huh?”

“I just want to help him, Hunk, but all he does is act like he can’t hear me and stare for hours at useless, obscure reports from the vaguest places in the most absurd galaxies just  _ hoping _ for any sign… he’s wasting away! It’s been over a  _ month and a half _ since… since Shiro disappeared,” Lance said, voice wavering at the end, “And Keith… he’s only getting worse. I think last night was the first time in weeks that he’s eaten anything  _ close _ to a full meal, and that’s just because I  _ forced _ him to attend dinner.” He rubbed at his eyes with his palms and let out a groan of frustration. As his hands fell back into his lap, he shook his head, “Why won’t he just let us help?”

Hunk finally turned away from the foodstuffs he prepared, fixing his best friend with an empathetic gaze, “It’s not your fault, Lance. He’s just struggling. He already lost Shiro once, and now he’s lost him again, and it’s… it’s taken a toll.”

“I know that, Hunk,” Lance snapped, before sighing and looking away, avoiding the hurt way his friend reacted to his harsh tone, “I’m sorry for snapping at you, buddy. I’m just frustrated.”

Hunk smiled sympathetically and placed a hand on the other paladin’s shoulder, “I know you are buddy. It hurts all of us to see him like this, but I know it hits you differently…”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lance responded a little too defensively, prompting his friend to raise an eyebrow suspiciously.

“Well, it’s just that it’s  _ pretty _ obvious that you do care a lot about him,” Hunk started.

“What?” Lance exclaimed, “Are you implying that I-that he-that-” He sputtered incredulously.

Hunk raised his hands defensively, “Hey, whoa, I wasn’t trying to imply anything!” He said, brows raised in surprise, “I was just saying that, you know, you’ve always had your eyes on him and-”

“Hunk!” Lance cried out indignantly.

“Well, he’s not wrong,” Pidge appeared from around the corner, stepping into the kitchen and prompting a startled shriek from Lance as he jumped and promptly slipped off the countertop, where he sat.

“Pidge!” He cried out again, arms crossed as he scowled at his two friends, who were now clearly betraying him terribly.

Pidge rolled her eyes, “Stop lying to yourself! You’re in shambles over Keith. The rest of us are  _ worried _ about him, yeah, but you’re literally getting grey hairs over this.”

Lance’s hand flew to his hair as he fixed her with a scandalized glare, “ _ I am not going grey! _ ” He exclaimed. Trying to ignore her pointed giggles, Lance looked away and gazed at a wall, the playful annoyance fading away to somberness, “Can you blame me, though? He acts like he’s still capable, but he hasn’t been able to go on a mission in like, two weeks, because he can’t pass Coran’s physical wellness exams. And I hate that I have to keep pressing it on him but… we  _ need _ Voltron.” he added softly.

“Even if he does agree to pilot the black lion, we… who’ll pilot the red lion? We’d still have only four lions,” Hunk said, brow furrowed.

Lance shook his head, “I mean, Allura’s father pilotted the red lion, right? Maybe she’d be able to fly him. Even if she can’t, we’ll probably have an easier time finding a new red paladin than a new black paladin.”

Pidge nodded, “Well, you’re probably right about that. We can’t just… go out and find a new  _ leader _ , it’s got to be someone we trust. It’s not like we have the time to bond with a new leader when we’re in the middle of a war, now.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Hunk sighed.

Lance groans again, “But we don’t have time for him to decide on his own, if he even  _ does  _ decide to pilot him.”

“You’ve just gotta keep trying with him.”

“Hunk, I love you, buddy, I really do. But I don’t see why you think  _ I  _ could change his mind.”

“I think you underestimate the effect you have on him.” Pidge added, in a moment of gentleness, “He listens to you.”

“I don.t…” Lance trailed off.

“I mean, you got him to come to dinner last night. Something the rest of us have been trying to do for ages now.” Hunk added.

Lance sighed in resignation, offering his friends a weak smile. “I… I’ll think about it, alright?”

“It’s all we ask, buddy.” Hunk said, a large, but gentle, hand rubbing Lance’s shoulder. Next to him, Pidge offered a reassuring smile, one that reminded him of his sister, and he smiled again, this time a little more genuine.

“Although, I think it’d go better if I could bring some, say, cookies with me?” Lance said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Hunk laughed, turning back to the counter where the bakeware sat, “On it, buddy.”

  
  


Like a statue, Keith hung, suspended in stasis. His face was pale, so pale, as though no blood flowed beneath the skin. Smooth skin, like porcelain, a blank face painted onto it. It was as though the man underneath it were not even alive, but the quiet beeping of his heartbeat emanating from the monitor, the confirmation of his vital functions, showed otherwise.

It was bittersweet, seeing him like this. For once he looked without pain, without sorrow. Lance has almost forgotten what that looked like on him. That sense of peace. In the past, it was still a rare one, but it was there, under the surface. Lately, that Keith was like a mere ghost of the past. Long gone. Lance wished it were different, but his wishes fell on deaf ears these days. It was with sorrow that he gazed at the Paladin, the friend, in front of him. Sorrow, and guilt.

He had no reason for the way he’d treated the black Paladin as of late. Though he dug deep into his gut, that anger that overcame him in his presence was gone without a trace. The only proof of it was the faintest memory of it broiling in his being. In truth, it made it worse. He could not explain why he treated the Paladin that way. He could not even  _ begin _ to explain it. The others hadn’t spoken of it, but they didn’t need to. Even they tread softly around him, as though afraid he would swing back into that anger, and take it out on them instead. But it wasn’t there. The only anger he felt was with himself, for letting his friend end up in such a way.

It was in this manner he’d found himself pondering the last few days. No matter how he distracted himself, he was always back in that same place. Standing in the medibay. Staring into the pod. Watching through frosted glass as one of his dearest friends hung in between life and death.

Coran had said that, while he could not find the root of Keith’s ailment, he could tell that the healing effects from the pod had little to no effect. His condition remained the same, day in, day out. On the verge. It had been something akin to a stroke that had taken the Paladin out, those few days ago. Though he’d tried to emphasize the unlikelihood of it having a lasting effect if- _ when _ -he recovered, the warning that the man could come out with a lasting problem as a consequence still rang in the red paladin’s ears.

Above all else, one question pervaded.

_ Is it my fault? _

When Coran had suggested it was a stress induced reaction, Lance had spent the rest of that day nearly inconsolable. Explanations ran marathons around his head, each one pinning the blame onto the red Paladin. Was it the way he’d treated him that had pushed their leader over the edge? Was it because he hadn’t been doing his duty as the right hand, helping to shoulder the stress of the job?

The thoughts couldn’t be stopped. And so he found himself there, each day. Beating himself up over something, logically, he truly couldn’t have stopped from happening.

And that’s how Hunk found him.

“Lance?” Hunk called from where he now stood in the doorway, frowning in concern.

Lance was shaken from his thoughts, drawing back the hand he had pressed against the glass without realizing it, as though it had suddenly burnt him. He didn’t turn around though, merely uttering a small reply that came out far weaker than its owner had expected.

Hunk sighed as he approached his grieving friend, “We were wondering if you wanted to come play a game with us. Pidge finally fixed the console, now that…” Hunk paused, trying not to look behind Lance at the cause of the console’s original destruction, “Now that we have time.”

Lance refrained from correcting his friend, ‘ _ Now that Keith can’t stop us, _ ’ though they both thought it. The Earth-born game console Pidge and Lance had found at the space mall a while back, had been a great source of joy for the paladin’s during their free time away from training, diplomacy, and missions. But the lifespan of the innocent console was cut short in recent times. It was a couple weeks into Keith’s leadership, and Pidge, Lance, and Hunk had been playing on it for a good few vargas when Keith had found them.

Before any of them could even offer one of the controllers to their friend, Keith had launched into a fit of anger over them ‘slacking off,’ which resulted in one of the first truly scary spats between Lance and Keith. In the end, Keith ended up punting the console, yanking out several cords in just the wrong way as it was roughly pulled from its place, and breaking several inside components as it was launched across the room and tumbled harshly to the cold, hard floor. He forbade both Pidge and Hunk from fixing it, against their protests, and even demanded them to work extra hard on whatever nonsense he assigned them to, just to insure they wouldn’t have the time. It was then that the team truly began to feel uneasy in the presence of the former-red paladin, and he’d only gotten worse from then on. For the first time, his friend’s felt a true sense of fear around him.

Now, it seemed, they had their free time back, for better or for worse. And while they could have spent it the way Lance was, the other two paladin’s had chosen to occupy their minds with something less emotionally draining. Lance almost envied them for the ability to do so.

Lance shrugged, “I’m not really in the mood.”

“That’s exactly why we want you to come play. I know you’re worried, but you can’t spend all your free time staring at him. It’s not good for you. And I know you know that,” Hunk replied, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder and spinning him around to face him.

“Hunk, I really-“ Lance started with a sigh, but Hunk was quick to shut him down.

“-Am going to come and enjoy some time to clear your head,” The larger man finished for him authoritatively.

With no real choice but to comply, Lance let his shoulders sag as his best friend guided him out of the room. He couldn’t help but cast one last glance at the pod behind him as he walked through the door. As still as ever, the black Paladin still hung there.  _ Porcelain _ .

  
  


“Lance!” Pidge called out, smiling invitingly as he emerged through the door with Hunk, “Player one or player two? I’ll let you choose this time,” she said, still grinning.

Lance smiled halfheartedly, “What the hay, guess I’ll be player one,” He shrugged in a meager attempt at nonchalonce, sidling over to plop on the seat next to her.

Hunk dropped into the spot on the opposite side, squished the smaller girl between them. The shared cushion dipped deeper at the changes in weight, and all three leaned back with comfortable sighs. They all had unanimously agreed long ago that it was, without any doubt, the comfiest couch on the entire ship.  _ Even Keith _ , Lance thought, wishing his friend were there to share in the game together.

Lance was shaken from his thoughts once more, as Pidge gave him a rough shove in the shoulder, “Nope! No sad faces right now! Only game faces! Now pick your character,” She said sternly, but not without a tinge of a playful smile underneath.

A small, appreciative smile played on his lips as Lance glanced over at her, “Alright, alright. Sorry, Pidgeot.”

“No need to apologize buddy, it’s why you’ve got us,” Hunk said kindly.

And so the three played until the castle lights began to dim in it’s automatic simulation of nighttime, the sounds of laughter echoing between them, nearly drowning out the sorrows that nibbled at the back of lance’s consciousness. When Allura’s voice finally rang out on the intercom, informing the paladin’s that they ought to head to bed to get a decent night's sleep, Lance let out a contented sigh.

“Thanks guys,” He said softly, truly grateful for the reprieve from his own mourning.

“No problem man, you know we’re here for you,” Hunk said, smile dancing on his lips.

“Always,” Pidge added as she bumped him lightly with her shoulder.

Lance let out an appreciative hum as he rose to his feet, turning back to offer the smallest a hand. As they all headed for the door, the tiniest prickle of  _ something _ tickled the back of his mind and he hesitated, prompting the other two to cast him a worried glance.

“You alright, Lance?” Hunk said gently.

“Yeah, no, yeah, I’m fine buddy, just tired,” Lance smiled. If Hunk noticed the way it quivered, he didn’t mention it.

“You need a good night’s rest, is all. You haven’t been sleeping well.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Hm, just a bit, buddy.”

Lance sighed, but he still smiled at him as he picked up again, following them down the halls. They talked about the little things. Their favorite levels, favorite characters. Hunk made suggestions as to what he could cook up for breakfast with what’s left in the castle’s pantry. Pidge wondered when they’d have a chance to go shopping again. Lance listened, but the words rolled off his ears, never sticking. Without something to occupy his hands and his mind, those worries, those sorrows, they were nipping at his heels, trying to catch up once more.

As Hunk and Pidge each stopped at their bedroom doors, they waved with sleepy smiles, wishing Lance a good night. He repeated the sentiments back as he watched them disappear through the doorways and he sighed once more, turning and stepping into his own room.

The door slid shut behind him, and all was quiet. For a moment, Lance stood, looking over the room. He fought against the negative thoughts that circled his mind like a pack of wolves. He held tightly to the joy from earlier like a burning torch, shielding himself from the lingering darkness.

As he slowly made his way to his bed, lowering himself onto the edge and kicking off his shoes, he found that torch was getting dimmer. He found himself trying to cling harder, trying to look away from the thoughts that were threatening to pounce on his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut, pressing the balls of his palms into his eyes, throwing his head back and flopping backwards onto the bed. As he let his hands flop to his sides, he opened his eyes, staring upwards at the ceiling, counting the ticks as they passed.

It felt like ages had passed before he rose once more, sluggishly digging around for his pajamas, slowly making his way into the tiny bathroom attached to his room. The routine that followed was performed mechanically, automatically. Internally, Lance fought a battle. A battle against the thoughts he  _ knew _ he shouldn’t succumb to, but he couldn’t  _ stop _ .

As he rinsed his mouth and capped the toothpaste, slotting his toothbrush back into it’s little nook, he looked at himself in the mirror, blinking slowly. One hand found its way into his hair, parting it this way and that. He let out a relieved sigh, no gray hairs. But he couldn’t deny the bags that were forming under his eyes, and he cringed. He rubbed his eyes and turned away, turning off the faucet and walking back into the bedroom.

Settling into sleep was a struggle, and Lance found himself pleading for it to come and take him. He counted sheep, counted stars, repeated the alphabet over and over again, just hoping to fall asleep. Just praying that his mind would stop grinding it’s gears. The cacophony of fears that bounced about his skull was torment, and he begged the tears that threatened to form from soaking his pillow.

Eventually, however, sleep came, though it was a restless one. He tossed and turned in his dreams. Unrest plagued the muddy images that flashed through his mind.

_ Lance. _

He was drenched in inky blackness, pulling on him, dragging him, trying to drown him in nothingness.

_ Find me. _

A spark of something in the distance, calling him, beckoning. He pulled against the sticky tendrils that slithered around his arms and legs, restraining him, trying to keep him away from his destination. The more he struggled, the more it seemed to hold him back, but he couldn’t give in.

_ Just come to me, Lance. _

He pulled, and pulled, and  _ pulled _ , until- **SNAP** -he was free, and he was running, arm outstretched as he reached for it; a glittering red star that hung suspended in the darkness, bouncing just outside of his reach.

_ Jump. _

He complied, and as his fist clenched around the star, it vanished. No-it transformed. Where once was empty blackness was now a galaxy of reds, blues, purples, all chasing each other in a swirling vortex of fantastic shapes. In it’s center hung a vibrant, gleaming blue star.

_ Closer, Lance. _

_ I’m trying _ , he grunted, sprinting now, but the galaxy only got bigger, the star only got farther.

_ Closer! _

He gritted his teeth, straining against the ocean of a universe that pooled around his ankles. One look over his shoulder revealed those inky black tentacles, slithering, still following him. They seemed to be picking up speed, just as the blue star began to fade.

_ Lance! _

The voice that called out to him this time was different, one he recognized. The blue star had finally vanished, in its place was a blackness, all consuming, but at its center was another glimmer.

The vision grew until he could make it out, a gloved hand, fingers bare as they reached out desperately.

_ Please, Lance! _

The voice cried again, but it wasn’t coming from the direction of the hand, and he whipped his head around. Behind him, the darkness had found a new victim, one who stared at Lance in horror.

It was Keith, genuine terror plastered across his face. As their eyes met, Lance skidded to a stop, turning his full body back the way he came.

_ Keith! _

He cried out as he tried to run back to the other paladin, but the ocean beneath him began to rise, slowing his motions like thickening molasses.

_ No, Lance. Come to  _ me _. _

The previous voice was back, and one look over his shoulder revealed that the hand had turned into claws, a deep shade of purple, scarlet dripping from the tips of the jagged nails. The spindly digits were splayed as they reached for him, growing ever closer as Keith grew ever further.

_ Lance! Please! _

Keith cried again, voice cracking.

_ Keith, hold on! _

Lance called out desperately as he struggled, tears stinging his eyes as he watched helplessly, Keith sinking further and further into the darkness, his cries for help getting more distant and more muffled. The inky blackness was devouring him whole, and Lance couldn’t stop it.

As Keith finally vanished entirely, Lance felt ice cold claws gripping the back of his neck.

_ You can’t save him, paladin. _

He grunted and twisted, trying to escape the rasping voice that whispered in his ear. He could feel the heat of its owner’s breath on his neck and he shuddered.

_ He’s mine. _

Lance tried to retort, but his mouth felt glued shut.

_ How about a trade, hm? _

Lance’s eyes widened as a shimmery glimpse of someone appeared in front of him.

_ Shiro? _

His eyes were screwed shut, as though he were in agonizing pain. His hair was long and tangled, a scruffy beard hugging his jawline. He was splayed out on what looked to be some sort of cot, and his face would twitch every few ticks. As Lance opened his mouth to call out, his voice suddenly freed, Shiro’s eyes shot open and Lance awoke, shooting upright and throwing the blanket off himself. His body was drenched in sweat, his hair plastered to his forehead. He took in several heaving breaths as he looked around the room frantically. The visions of his dream quickly faded away, leaving panic and sadness gripping his chest in his wake.

Only one thing remained, and that was the face of Keith, twisted in fear, absolute terror, mouth open in a desperate scream as darkness enveloped him whole. Lance shivered, pulling his knees to his chest as he let out a choking sob. Like the opening of floodgates, it allowed everything to come loose, and he spent the next few vargas curled up like that on his bed, crying, without any idea as to why.


	4. Danger, Danger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The paladins are shocked by a change in their leader's condition, Allura frets.  
> 4/22/2020 Spelling/Grammar

“Has anyone seen Lance?” Allura said, turning to look over the other three who occupied the control room alongside her. Both Coran and Pidge shook their heads in a negatory, but from where he sat, Hunk let out a sigh.

“I went to check up on him when I got up but he was still sound asleep. He looked really rough so I kinda just… let him sleep.”

“Yeah, I heard him a couple times last night. I wanted to check on him but I didn’t want to disturb him,” Pidge said softly “It sounded like a nightmare or something.”.

Allura’s lips turned downwards sadly, turning back to the screen she’d been flickering about on.

Coran shook his head from where he stood, tapping away on one of the control panels, “He’s taking the black paladin’s condition very, very poorly.”

For a moment, they all remained in silence, continuing on their work. Pidge was still attempting to decipher the garbled distress calls. They had been responding to the most urgent beacons, and contacting allies to check out others that were in the vicinity of their bases. None of them were truly confident in attempting to respond to all of them on their own, not with only four lions again. They were quite lucky that most missions were doable by only a couple lions at a time, so they could respond to multiple in a day. But they were most lucky that Voltron hadn’t been needed yet. It was getting harder and harder to come up with reasonable excuses as to why they only ever showed up without the black lion. They were all fearful of allies finding out that they had no access to Voltron in its entirety, and then losing faith in the team. It was back to that same anxiety that had only a few months prior.

It was taking its toll on everyone. Their free-time was being consumed, and they were so often in one battle or another every single day that they often found themselves completely and utterly exhausted by the end of the day. Without any serious injuries, they were only just managing. They were all thankful that they only came out of fights with scrapes, bruises, and minor grazings. Nothing an hour in the healing pods couldn’t fix completely. Though, it was often a somber experience being in the medibay at all, for clear reasons.

The team was growing weary, however. Lance had attempted to take an unofficial position of temporary leadership, finding it to be his ‘duty’ as the right hand of Voltron, but it was more often than not Allura who took control of most things, as Lance was often mentally somewhere else. The red paladin had always struggled with focussing in life. It had always made school harder than he felt it should have been, but lately, with the weight of their leaders' questionable fate pressing on his mind, he was so often beyond the capability.

“Do you think Keith is going to be alright?” Hunk piped up softly.

Allura chewed her lip, and Coran sighed, not turning around, “I don’t know,” the old man replied, hands stilling mid-type, “The castle can’t detect anything that could be causing his physical condition.”

Finally, Allura opened her mouth, “What about… the thing you told me about?” She said softly.

Pidge furrowed her brow, eyes flicking between the two, “What thing?”

Coran remained silent for a moment before tapping at the keypad in front of him, prompting a screen to appear, depicting what appeared to be several graphs, numbers, and words, accompanying what appeared to be a full body silhouette of both Keith and the black lion. When Coran spoke, his voice was hesitant, “I’ve actually been monitoring him for some time now. You’re all being monitored in a similar fashion by the castle, to keep up with your health in case of illness, but I’ve been keeping a close eye on Keith’s results. When he began acting... “ He paused, “...off, I’d started getting suspicious that something was wrong with him, in some way or another, so I’ve been keeping track of every single scan the castle has performed on him.”

“And?” Pidge pushed, trying to read the constantly scrolling and flashing results on the screen.

“Something  _ is _ very wrong,” Coran said, “But I don’t know what. All I know is that it began as soon as the black lion activated for him, when Lance finally convinced him to try.”

Hunk frowned, puzzled, and Pidge looked equally confused, “What do you mean?” He said, exchanging looks with Pidge.

“Again, I don’t really know,” He repeated, “But whatever it is, it’s affecting his mind. It started with a bizarre reading of his quintessence, and ever since it’s been fluctuating in unpredictable manners, at seemingly random points in time. The readings of his brain are the most intriguing. His brain waves are acting in a way that I’ve not seen any of your brains work, although you… four,” He hesitated, and they could all tell he was trying not to think of their missing fifth, “are my only reference for the natural functions of the human body in general. I also noticed he rarely slept, but the lack of sleep never seemed to be taking a toll on his body.

However,” He added, “I have noticed something, possibly even more strange.”

Hunk and Pidge exchange another glance, “Uh, what do you mean? What else could be happening to him?” Hunk said, worry dripping from his voice.

“It’s not Keith, this time,” Coran said, letting the words sink in before he continued, “It’s Lance.”

Allura blinked in surprise, “You didn’t mention that part to me, Coran.”

“No, I didn’t,” He affirmed, but didn’t explain himself, “It only happened in Keith’s presence, however. I’m sure we all noticed the way they clashed any time they so much as stood in the same room,” He said, but didn’t wait for a response, he didn’t need one. It had been so painfully obvious to all who were near them. The moment they saw each other, it was like fire and electricity crackled in the air. Coran frowned as he continued, “Whenever they began to fight, Lance’s quintessence had similar readings to Keith’s, and it had similar effects on his mind. Although his readings were definitely far from the levels of intensity our black paladin had.”

“So, basically, it’s kind of like a quintessence-virus?” Pidge finally said after a moment of silence.

“I suppose,” Coran sighed.

“And it came from the black lion?” Hunk added.

Coran grimaced, “I can’t confirm that, I only know that it occured after he piloted the lion for the first time.”

“Well,” Pidge started, walking up to the screen that still hung in front of them, “If I’m reading these right, it looks kind of like… every time Keith has piloted the black lion, the readings got worse.”

Coran nodded, “Yes, I noticed that as well.”

“But we still don’t know the cause,” Allura added.

“What if it has something to do with Zarkon?” Hunk suddenly spoke up, prompting the others to turn their attention to him, “I mean, what if during the fight between Zarkon and Shiro, Zarkon did something to the lion, like, infected it or something?”

Coran pondered that for a moment, “It could be, Hunk. But-”

He was cut off by the sound of the door sliding open as Lance sluggishly walked into the room, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sleep in,” he uttered an apology as he made his way to his seat. When he noticed the expressions his friend’s all shared, he furrowed his brow, “Uh, guys? Something wrong? Do I have something on my face?”

Before anyone else could reply, Allura shook her head, “No, no, we were just wondering if you were alright,” She said with a strained smile as Coran minimized the screen depicting all the scan results.

“Aw, you were worried about me?” Lance put on his best flirtatious look, winking, but they could all see how half-hearted it was. Still, Allura rolled her eyes and smiled, trying to humor him, “Anyways, have you guys discussed what the plan for the day is?”

Hunk shook his head, “No, uh, we were just… waiting for you,” He said hesitantly, giving Allura a questioning look. Pidge looked equally confused as to why she had lied to the red paladin, but neither of them were very inclined to point it out directly. She seemed to ignore them, however.

“Yes, we were hoping you’d turn up. Hunk mentioned that you looked as though you’d had a rough night.” She said, fixing Lance with a concerned stare.

Lance merely waved her off, “Just a bad dream, not that big of a deal. The only problem was how much it took away from my beauty sleep,” He flashed a smile and Allura shook her head, at least somewhat pleased that the red paladin still had his humor.

With the team mostly together, they spent the next varga or so discussing the future plans for the rest of the day and prepared to split off to do the morning chores.

Allura watched Lance leave the room last, brows furrowed as she worried at her bottom lip.

“He’ll be alright, Allura,” Coran said softly, putting a calming hand on her shoulder.

“I know he will,” She sighed, “But I can’t help but fear for him if Keith doesn’t recover,” She added, voice weakening.

“Keith will recover,” Coran said sternly, before sighing, “But if he doesn’t, the red paladin still has us to lean on. But we mustn’t think like that.”

“I know,” She said, offering him a weak smile, “I know.”

  
  


Lance watched silently as the other paladin picked at the hem of his jacket, which Lance had draped over his friend’s shoulders in a gesture of comfort. If there were minor motivations from the way the man looked in Lance’s jacket giving the latter paladin a pleasant fluttering in his chest, Keith was none the wiser.

“I just don’t know if I  _ can _ do it. I-I know he might let me. I  _ know _ that,” Keith whispered softly, avoiding meeting the blue paladin’s gaze, “But I don’t know if I... “

Lance sighed as Keith trailed off, “I believe in you, Keith,” He murmured, letting a hand find its way onto his shoulder.

Keith didn’t reply, eye’s downcast as he rolled the strange pink cookies Hunk had sent Lance out with in his palm. They were round and hard on the outside, but pure cream on the inside. The taste was entirely alien, but that wasn’t to say bad. They were probably the most delicious thing Lance had ever tasted,  _ ever _ . He sent out a silent apology to his mother and her baking, but he couldn’t lie about Hunk’s food. They came in a couple of colors, each color a different flavor. Apparently, they were a favored dish from a planet they had helped out a while back, and Hunk had been trying to get the recipe right for some time. It was a  _ very _ precise process, and frankly, it gave Lance a headache just trying to  _ read _ the recipe. A family had taught it to the yellow paladin as a thank you for rescuing their son and daughter from a hostage situation involving a group of space pirates.

Lance looked away for a moment, chewing his lip as he sighed and looked down for a moment, preparing his next words. He looked back at the person who shared the window ledge with him and steeled himself. He scooted closer, close enough to reach his arm out and put a hand on the man’s shoulder, gently turning Keith to face him.

Keith took in a sharp breath, looking surprised at the contact, but Lance spoke before he could say anything, “Hey, man,” He started, “I’m here to help you with this. I really am,” He sighed, “I know I’ve not been the best friend to you. Especially not when this all started back on Earth.”

Keith frowned, but Lance continued, “And I hate that I have to keep putting this on you, I… really kinda wish I could make this easier for you. I…” He hesitated, looking away for a moment, “I don’t like seeing you like this.”

Keith opened his mouth to say something, but ultimately his words fell short and he closed his mouth again, waiting for Lance to continue.

“If you need me to go in the lion with you, I will. Just tell me what you need, Keith, and I’ll do it for you,” Lance said, the level of ernesty in his voice surprising both paladins.

Keith looked away, and for a moment Lance felt embarrassment creeping into his blood. Had that been too much?

Before Lance could truly panic, however, Keith looked back at him, the softest, most genuinely grateful smile sitting on his lips, “Thank you, Lance,” He whispered.

“I’ll  _ always _ be here for you, Keith,” Lance replied in the softest voice he could find, “Just say the word.”

For a long moment, the two stared into each other’s eyes. Keith was looking better, Lance had been pushing him so the paladin would stop wasting away from his self-inflicted negligence. He wasn’t completely out of the rut he’d dug himself into, but Lance had been making a serious effort to pull the man out of it, and he’d been doing a rather good job, if he did say so himself.

There was a brighter light in Keith’s eyes than had been in what felt like a long time. He’d been permitted by Coran to attend the more physically taxing missions once more. He’d become more alert, more awake, more aware. And, if he was being completely honest with himself, seeing the red paladin start to improve filled Lance with a sense of happiness he almost couldn’t describe. Or, he could describe it, but rather chose to pretend he couldn’t.

Their moment together was cut off, however, by the sound of Hunk calling for them, not too far away. Keith looked away, finally breaking eye contact, but the smallest of smiles still danced at the corners of his mouth. Lance felt something soft and fuzzy buzzing in his gut as he took in the man who sat next to him. He hardly spared Hunk a glance when he first approached the two. Had he been looking, he would have seen the way the largest paladin rolled his eyes, but couldn’t hold back a smile at the sight of the two of them.

“Hey, uh, hope I’m not interrupting anything,” He said, hesitantly as he tried to draw both of their attention over to him. Lance was harder to get the attention of than Keith, but when he finally looked over, he caught the subtle brow wiggle Hunk made teasingly at his best friend before the yellow paladin continued, “Allura was looking for you two, something about a quick in-and-out mission for the people of  _ Kuawtique _ .”

“Mmm,” Lance hummed thoughtfully, “Wonder if this one’s going to be as boring as that one quote-unquote  _ ‘mission’ _ for the  _ Oeses _ .”

Keith let a brief, playful smile show for a moment, “Pretty sure that one was just because you wouldn’t stop harassing her about the malls on planet  _ Mu _ and she was desperate to get you off the ship for a few vargas.”

“Not my fault she refused to let us spend  _ a little _ off-time there. It’s not like we  _ had _ to leave immediately after the conferences,” Lance huffed, clearly still salty.

Hunk offered his friend a sympathetic look, “I mean, to be fair, last time we went to a space mall, things  _ did _ go a little south.”

Keith chimed in a little ruefully, “Yeah… you and Pidge did bring back a cow, after all.”

“You’re one to talk, Mr. Knife-Fight in the middle of a crowded super-max shopping center in Galra territory.”

“Well, Hunk got chained up and turned the food court into  _ Hell’s Kitchen _ starring Garrett Ramsey!” Keith laughed, and man, was it wonderful to be able to hear that laugh again.

Hunk didn’t even protest the accurate accusation, just happy to see the way he and Lance teased each other, and the way Keith’s cheeks went pink with laughter after Lance made a ridiculous comment. He turned away, smiling and shaking his head to himself, off to suggest that he and Pidge take the mission instead, as Lance and Keith were quite occupied with each other, and who was he to take such a rare occasion away from them?

He could still hear the faint laughter in the distance as he approached the control room. It had been a long time since he’d seen his best-friend of many, many years look at someone like that. He couldn’t help but hope that the young man had finally found someone who truly fit together with him. And he couldn’t think of a much better person for the paladin than Keith. After all, the blue paladin had been pining after him for so long anyway… Hunk shook his head in amusement, they made a good pair.

  
  


“What do you mean ‘ _ you don’t know?! _ ” Lance was practically shrieking at this point. Hunk had already given up trying to call the paladin down, “Things like this don’t just fucking  _ happen _ , Coran, there has to be some kind of explanation for-for,” He stammered, suddenly at a loss for words as he took in the man behind the frosted glass one more time, once more trying to wrap his head around the sight he took in before him.

Coran had called the castle together in the medibay for an ‘emergency.’ None of the paladins had been prepared for what they saw when they entered the room. At some point in the night, Keith had undergone a transformation. Tufts of purple fur were sprouting along the visible skin, tinges of purple creeping into the flesh as well. His ears had more of a point to them, his nails had grown significantly sharper, beginning to taper into something claw-like. If one looked hard enough, they’d see the tinges of magenta at the ends of his hair.

The old man had entered the bay early that morning to check on the paladin’s condition, only to be shocked at a sight he could have never expected. He’d run scan after scan, to no avail. There was no indication of  _ anything _ having changed over night except for the young man’s appearance. It was then that he’d called the paladin’s in, most of whom had still been deeply asleep at that time.

It was Allura who had the worst reaction. Unlike the others, who’d instantly begun bombarding Coran with questions, passing unanswerable questions back and forth between each other, Allura had remained silent. Her mouth was drawn into a thin line, her brows furrowed. She couldn’t pry her eyes away from the black paladin. It stirred up something ugly inside her. She felt, almost, betrayed. Deep down, she knew that it couldn’t have been his fault, that Keith had no control over what was happening to him. She’d gotten to know him, she’d learned to trust him as family. At the base of her core, she knew her anger was unfounded, but she couldn’t fight that feeling. That gut wrenching, twisted feeling that chewed at her insides and told her that he had lied, somehow, that he was dangerous, that he was a  _ threat _ . Eventually, she simply turned and left the room amidst the confusion and arguing going on around her. She couldn’t be in the same room with him anymore, she just couldn’t bear it.

Including everything that had happened before the paladin had fallen ill, all of the things surrounding him kept adding up in her head, and kept spewing that same word.  _ Betrayal, betrayal, betrayal. _ The part of her that wanted to fight back, to speak reason, was far too weak in comparison. That voice was drowned out by anger and fear and paranoia.

Her feet led her to the control room, where she paced back and forth. She brought up scans of the paladin from the past few months, even drawing up scans from the first time he entered the castle. She dug through ancient altean medical journals, she dug through galran writings. She was drowning herself, trying to find an answer, an explanation, a mere  _ inkling _ of what they had all witnessed. Nothing. A person, of any species, being transformed into another? Unheard of. It couldn’t have been a disguise the whole time, no, the castle surely would have picked up on it. All it would tell her was the man shared some level of DNA with the warmongering race, something they’d all known since he met the blades. Something she’d moved past, learned to look beyond and see the real Keith beneath his heritage. This unbelievable happening had upturned all the progress their relationship had made. If the black paladin woke up  _ now _ , she didn’t know what she would do, or how she’d react. What she would say. She wracked her brain, scoured the system. It was only the hand of the old altean on her shoulder that shocked her out of her searching.

When she turned to look at him, he was watching her with troubled eyes. Wordlessly, he closed out of the windows she was scanning. He took her gently by the arm and led her to sit in one of the other paladin’s seats. For a long time, they sat in silence.

When Allura finally broke the silence, her voice was strained, “What happened, Coran?” She knew his answer. He’d said it a million times while they stood in the medibay, but she couldn’t  _ not _ ask. She couldn’t keep the question from bouncing around her skull, threatening to break her mind to bits. It was giving her a headache.

Coran shook his head, “I do not know, Allura. I wish I did,” he said softly, “In all my years, I’ve never seen this. Never, not even remotely close. I think, at this point, we have no choice but to watch and wait. We have no choice.”

“Do you think…” She began, but trailed off, unsure of how to word her fears.

“I do not think Keith would know, if he were conscious. He is troubled, sometimes, but he is not galra. At least…” He sighed, correcting himself, “He’s not like the galra we fight against.”

Allura remained quiet in response, eyes trained on her hands as they wrung together in worry.

“Everything will be alright,” the advisor said softly, though neither of them could tell how sure he was of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a short chapter. Kinda just wanted to get one out. I've been stressing myself out badly so I've slowed down on writing. I get headaches and for pretty understandable reasons, it gets pretty hard to write something worth posting when you can't think straight. That being said, I'm still pretty happy with how the chapter turned out, though I did have plans for it to be longer. It's no problem though, I can easily fit what I didn't put in this chapter into next chapter. Again, I have slowed down a bit because of the stress headaches, but it's probably for the best. Writing this story is really relaxing because of how important it is to me, so honestly it's probably good that I'm not rushing to complete it. This way I get to enjoy writing it for longer :)  
> It took me a while to figure out if I wanted Keith to start changing now, or later, but I decided to make it a gradual-ish process that happens over a few chapters. The most defining features (purpleness, claws, n' stuff) start happening first, but he's not yet full galra physically. Around here things start getting a little muddled for me, because I've got a lot of different ideas as to how I want to advance certain canon plot points while sticking to my own plot, so that may also affect how fast a chapter takes, since I'll probably be writing and rewriting and deleting and undeleting stuff all the time.  
> Anyways, let me know how you liked it, what your thoughts are, predictions (of course I'm not gonna confirm or deny anything!!!) I just really like getting comments, it's super exciting to see that little 'comments' number go up and i'm like eeee someone commented!!! I love getting Kudos too, so don't forget if you like what you read to maybe possibly toss some kudos my way, put a lil smile on my face maybe  
> Thanks for reading! I know I'm not the greatest mind out there, but I write what I want to read, so I mean I think it's good but that doesn't mean my taste isn't bad. Keep a look out, don't wanna miss what happens next huh?


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